What does it mean when you feel like you are being besieged on all fronts, yet to ask for prayer from any fellow warriors feels like complaining? And, if you asked for prayer, would they stand beside you and fight? Or, lend a sympathetic ear and then go about their day? How often am I the one who hears a plea for help and then becomes focused again on myself and what to fix for dinner? If you do stand in the trenches with them, how DO you somehow balance that with all the “have tos”, the 3 meals a day, beds waiting to be made, Mount Washmore climbing ever higher by the washer. And the things that are so very much more important- standing with my husband and children in the middle of this war raging, teaching academics as well as character and life lessons, and all the rest. Can I teach those things when I don’t have a clue?
Does God get tired of questions?
The alarm went off at 4:00 a.m. The love of my life rolled out and headed off to exercise. Disciplined man that he is. Ug, I am so tired. And so many things bombarding my brain.
Ok, time to push out all this stuff that I have no answers for right now, and focus on the day. Maybe, I can get up and get enough done that I can make it to the tax office by eight and get back in time to start science with Mason at 10, then History. Gotta get Marissa to art by 1....pick her up by 3...and then leave for Mason's game by 4:15 ish.....oh, ya, supper...what can I fix in that amount of time so he can eat by 4?.....that will make 3 trips out, 2 into Alb if I do that....so much time driving, not to mention the gas. Hah! stay at home mom. That's a good one.
"God, could you install a "pause" button on my brain? Or even just a "mute" so I don't have to listen to it ALL the time? Thanks."
Then, I catch a glimpse of the most glorious sunrise ever. And the clouds, the birds singing up the sun. As I begin to focus on the gifts, the list goes on and on, scampering ahead of my thoughts so that I can't even catch up with them. Too many to count.
Thank you for listening, Lord. And for grace.
Wednesday-bring it on!
Deuteronomy 33:12 "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."